14^th July is International Nonbinary People’s Day, where we celebrate the contributions and resilience of millions of nonbinary people worldwide. In loving recognition of our nonbinary siblings here at Kent, we’ve compiled a list of 4 ways to be better allies to the nonbinary community this year!

Nonbinary people do not identify with the binary distinctions of ‘man’ and ‘woman’. Though many nonbinary people share some characteristics which are traditionally ‘manly’ or ‘womanly’, they do not identify with either gender.

Far from being a modern ‘fad’, nonbinary people have existed in a number of societies and cultures – the gender binary does not exist at all in many places around the world, and nonbinary individuals have often been worshipped and revered.

Unfortunately, nonbinary people are facing an increasingly bleak picture in the UK: 80% of nonbinary people have reported poor mental health in recent years, while over 30% have reported being the victim of physical harassment. This is why it’s more important than ever to be a good ally to the nonbinary community.

Here are 4 super-helpful tips for getting started!

1. Language is important. Implicit in the language we use day-to-day, whether we realise it or not, are certain assumptions that shape the way we think and communicate. These assumptions are reflections of structures of power in our society. By using ‘he’ or ‘she’ to address a man or a woman, we are legitimising their gender identity. This is why it’s important to respect the pronoun decisions made by a non-binary person, more often than not by using ‘they/them’ and trying where possible to use gender-neutral language to refer to people you don’t know.
2. When highlighting LGBT+ role models and icons, make sure to be diverse in your selection, and include nonbinary people as well!
3. Make sure to be an intersectional ally, and actively campaign for the safety of nonbinary refugees and asylum seekers, disabled nonbinary people, nonbinary people of colour, as well as other minority nonbinary people in the UK and abroad.
4. Be kind, and always try to be understanding! Lots of individuals relate to their gender in different ways, it’s part of what makes us human, and giving people space and respect to work this out for themselves is the best thing you can do for your nonbinary friends and colleagues!

Happy International Nonbinary People’s Day!

Blog post by Alex Charilaou

How to be a non-binary ally in HE

To mark Pride Month, LGBTQ+ staff and student networks at University of Kent posed the question ‘Why is Pride important to you?’ Along with their answers, members submitted pictures that made them think of pride.

Why is Pride important to you?

“Pride is important to be because it makes me feel visible, included, and part of something bigger”

“The LGBT+ community is one of the most diverse, all-embracing, inclusive communities on the planet. The + is very important. The ability to self-define and still be accepted is a fundamental part of this community, which is what makes it so very special. And it’s not just about who’s allowed in; it’s about the support once you arrive. We look after each other, support each other, and use discrimination against us as fuel to support other minoritised groups”

“Pride Month is when I feel closest to my community. Wherever I am, knowing that the core nature of this community is to protect its own and speak its truth gives me a sense of balance and belonging”

“Pride comes in many different colours, and the LGBT+ community covers many different communities, some more marginalized than others”

“I am not proud because I am gay – I was born gay; I’m proud because I’m not afraid any more”

“When I think of Pride, the first word that comes to me is ‘freedom’. Freedom of being who I am, how I look like and what I wear, what I believe in, and who I love. Unfortunately too many people around the world still don’t have such freedoms, so having a month to celebrate and reflect on the meaning of Pride is still very important, even in 2021”

“Pride is important to me because for the other 364 days of the year, I find it hard to be proud”

“As an ally, Pride to me is a reminder of my privilege and that the rights of LGBT+ friends, family and colleagues are far from being won. Pride to me is an ongoing effort to make sure I do all I can to recognise and fight against inequality and to call out injustice, standing side by side with the LGBT+ community with respect and friendship”

“Pride to me never used to mean much, apart from a nice day out and lots of rainbows. That was before I was out as a pansexual/queer person. Now, on the other hand, pride is so incredibly important to me. It is important because it is genuinely the ONLY time and place where I can hold my partner’s hand and not feel worried about harassment and stares. It is the ONLY place where I can feel like I am ‘normal’ and a part of the majority, and nobody will judge me. I don’t think anyone can really understand this without experiencing years of ‘coming out’ in every possible social situation. It also makes me so happy to see younger generations at Pride festivals and in Pride month just being visible and being who they are, in a way that was never possible when I was that age. I enjoy being a role model and making sure that generations to come can feel proud to be who they are and know that they are not alone”

“For me, Pride is a time to reflect on the progress we’ve made thanks to the work of queer heroes, and recognise that there’s still so much to do. I don’t always feel comfortable expressing who I am, but Pride allows me to celebrate – even if it is in very small ways!”

“To me, Pride is radical. It is self-acceptance; it is rejecting the voices that define you as ‘less than’. It is a celebration AND a fight… and there are still lots to fight for. We can only be proud if we stand with and for one another.”

On 01 June, I got to reflecting about Pride Month and why it’s so important to me that we celebrate and commemorate our community, past and present.

I was brought up in the 1960’s and 70’s. When we look back through rose-tinted media glasses, those were supposed to be the days when you could be who you wanted to be, express yourself in myriad ways, shrug off the confines of social expectations. In reality, life in a Catholic, northern family didn’t quite have the freedoms of a new social era and there were very many expectations of behaviour. I’m not crying about it; I didn’t even notice it at the time.

I grew up straight, in a straight world, where it was fine to think about having a job, but you still had to know how to cook and clean and iron your future husband’s shirts! A world where American Tan tights (google it) were the expected uniform for young women (true story!). I saw education as my way out. What could be less confrontational than to leave home for university? I knew I was never going back.

I’d like to say that I started reinventing myself the moment I boarded the train to London with two stupidly heavy suitcases, but I was a very uncool student just as I had been a very uncool child. I studied hard, made friends, but I was no rising star. Then one day in 1985, a chance meeting changed my world. Suddenly there were colours, rainbow colours, and I discovered my true self.

The transformation was root and branch; my straight friends reacted badly, my family even worse. But LGBT+ people made me feel unique, wanted, part of a bigger family, one where difference is celebrated. The LGBT+ community is one of the most diverse, all-embracing, inclusive communities on the planet. The + is very important. The ability to self-define and still be accepted is a fundamental part of this community, which is what makes it so very special. And it’s not just about who’s allowed in; it’s about the support once you arrive. We look after each other, support each other, and use discrimination against us as fuel to support other minoritised groups.

I’ve stood on the shoulders of LGBT+ people who have gone before me, who refused to be boxed in to a hetero-normative world. And, in my turn, I have marched and campaigned for LGBT+ rights that young people can now take for granted. And the struggle is not over; it will never be over.

So Pride Month is important to me because that’s when I feel closest to my community. My LGBT+ family from 1980’s London is now scattered across the world, others we lost in the last pandemic: HIV/AIDS. But wherever I am, knowing that the core nature of this community is to protect its own and speak its truth gives me a sense of balance and belonging. It gives me a sense of Pride.

Get educated (the easy way):

June is Pride Month: https://staff.kent.ac.uk/news/27689/june-is-pride-month

We’re here, we’re queer, and we want to hear your stories!

The University of Kent’s LGBT+ Staff Network is looking to publish Gay as in Happy, a collection of interviews and personal stories that focus on LGBTQ+ members of staff, students, and the wider community.  Gay as in Happy will be published as a book and excerpts will be featured on social media platforms.

We want to provide a positive outlook on coming out and on being queer in a predominantly straight world.  Why?  Because it is crucial to live in hope and to know that a fulfilled life as a queer person is possible (and, dare we say it, desirable).  Sharing positive stories gives us hope and allows us to imagine happy endings for ourselves and for our loved ones.  Thus, hope becomes a radical act.  Because to imagine a better life is an important step towards creating a better life.

In order to make this happen, come and speak to us!  We are looking for contributors who want to share their positive experiences about coming out and being out.  If you would like to get involved, or to simply find out more, please email lgbtqbook@kent.ac.uk