Are you ‘languishing’ this year? If so, it would seem you are not alone. Articles by psychologists and journalists are starting to appear remarking that lots of us are showing signs of languishing. So, what is it?
Languishing is a term used within the area of research and action known as Positive Psychology. It describes a state of being which exists between depression and flourishing. In his article, (linked below), Adam Grant defines it: ‘Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield.’ He also describes it as ‘the absence of wellbeing’.
To me, languishing describes feeling stuck. It represents just being in a situation, treading water, not progressing. Nothing bad is necessarily going to happen but there’s no immediate prospect for improvement.
Given that society is no opening up, what is making this feeling predominant for so many of us? I think it is because we have had to suppress our natural feelings of empowerment for so long, in the face of the pandemic situation. It was emotionally safer to manage our expectations as to what was achievable. And because we have been promised before that things would get back to normal, and they actually became worse, we don’t trust that things will improve. We don’t feel like fully releasing into the energy of a positive emotion……just yet!
Flourishing requires a level of self-empowerment and that has been a difficult place to find oneself in the past year. It is understandable that a lot of us feel flat emotionally. We haven’t felt in control of our lives for some time and that is a strange and uncomfortable place to be.
Grant believes the biggest problem with languishing is that ‘You don’t catch yourself slipping slowly into solitude; you’re indifferent to your indifference.’ That’s why it’s important to recognise signs that you are languishing and make changes to move forward.
The experts tell us that there are ways we can progress from languishing to flourishing. Grant suggests trying to find ‘flow’, an inherent enjoyment and absorption in what we do, is a way to address languishing. Another is to set boundaries to rebalance lack of focus. For a wider exploration of using Positive Psychology to move from languishing to flourishing, read the booklet linked below by Emiliya Zhivotovskaya. It is an excellent tool with guidance on how to increase your feeling of wellbeing.
We need to be kind to ourselves exiting from what has been, for most of us, the most constricting and disempowering period of our lives. Perhaps, though, it finally is safe to allow ourselves to raise our hopes that things getting back to normal, and we can get back to enjoying life to the full.
‘There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing’ by Adam Grant on nytimes.com
‘The Dominant Emotion of 2021’ by Elana Premack Sandler on psychologytoday.com
‘Are we ‘languishing’ in the Covid pandemic? Perhaps, but naming the feeling can only take us so far’ by Georgia Chambers on inews.co.uk
‘Are You Flourishing or Languishing Through Life?’ on yomenga.com
‘From Languishing to Flourishing: 11 Research Based Tools for Increasing Well-Being’ by Emiliya Zhivotovskaya
‘Live, Thrive, Flourish! A Positive Psychology Sampler’ by Jody Andrews on YouTube
‘What is Positive Psychology?’ by Test Prep Gurus on YouTube
‘Alfred and Shadow – a short story about emotions’ by Anne Hilde Vassbo Hagen for the Norwegian Institute of Emotion Focused Therapy on YouTube