What is domestic abuse?
Domestic abuse is generally defined as incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening and violent behaviour between individuals that have been in an intimate relationship that includes family members. Stereotypically women are considered to be the most
common victims of domestic abuse, however known cases of men and children being victims of domestic abuse have risen significantly in recent years.
What are the different forms of domestic abuse?
Psychological abuse
Includes name-calling, threats and manipulation, blaming you for the abuse or
‘gas-lighting’ you.
Psychological or emotional abuse can range from belittling comments and put downs to
accusations. This kind of abuse can lead the victim to believe they’re imagining things.
Economic abuse
Controlling your access to money or resources. An abuser might take your wages,
stop you working, or put you in debt. If someone is controlling or misusing your
money in a way that limits your freedom, they are financially abusing you.
Economic abuse is broader than financial abuse. An economic abuser might be
limiting your access to basic resources like food, shelter, clothing or transport, creating
instability and threatening your safety.
Sexual abuse
Doesn’t have to be physical. An abuser might manipulate or coerce you into doing things
you don’t want to do. Sexual abuse can happen in or outside of relationships, including within marriage. Your abuser may be pressuring you to have sex or to engage in sexual acts, hurting you during sex, pressuring you to have unprotected sex and more.
Coercive control
When an abuser uses a pattern of behaviour over time to exert power and control. It is a
criminal offence.
Physical abuse
Not only hitting. An abuser might restrain you or throw objects. The abuser might pinch
or shove you and claim it’s a ‘joke’. If an abuser is hitting, punching, kicking, pushing, using a weapon against you or causing you any kind of physical harm, minor or extreme, you’re being physically abused.
Tech abuse
The abuser might send abusive texts, demand access to your devices, track you
with spyware, or share images of you online. If your accounts are being monitored,
intimate videos or photos have been shared online or someone is using software that
monitors what you’re doing or where you’re going, you’re being digitally abused.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that discredits your memory, perception
and sanity. An abuser might use lies, denial, contradiction, false information and
manipulation to exert control.
If you are aware of someone whose partner exhibits the behaviours below
the person could be a victim of domestic abuse:
• Partner is jealous and possessive
• They are nice one minute and then abusive in the next
• Tells the individual what to wear, where they can go and who they can see
• Constantly puts them down
• Puts pressure onto the individual to have sex when they don’t want to
• Plays mind games and makes them doubt their judgement
• Isolates the individual from friends and family
• Controls their money
• Tracks their movement and messages
• The individual feels as if they have to walk on eggshells, so they don’t upset partner
• Partner uses anger and intimidation to frighten the individual
Victims of domestic abuse can often experience domestic abuse for several years
before finding the strength to seek help and support to get away from the abusive
partner. The impact of domestic abuse on an individual can last for several years.
It is also important not to forget the impact on children who live in a household where
there is domestic abuse, a child witnessing domestic is child abuse. A child’s mental and
physical wellbeing, and their behaviour can suffer through witnessing domestic abuse
with the impact possibly lasting into their adulthood.
We all have a role in trying to identify when someone is being abused and if possible
support or encourage them to seek the appropriate help to leave an abusive
relationship.
If you are experiencing abuse or believe you are in an abusive relationship, talking
to someone can be the first step to leaving an abusive relationship. Care first have counsellors and advisers who can listen, support, or sign post you to where you can
get assistance. You could also talk to a trusted, family member, friend or colleague. If
you wish to contact the Care first telephone counselling and information line then please
don’t hesitate to call the Freephone number provided by your organisation and you can
speak to a professional in confidence.
There are other national agencies that provide support:
National Domestic Violence Helpline – 0808 2000 247
The Men’s Advice Line, for male domestic abuse survivors – 0808 801 0327
The Mix, free information and support for under 25s in the UK – 0808 808 4994
National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0800 999 5428
Sources of information:
https://www.cps.gov.uk/domestic-abuse
https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/
https://www.nspcc.org.uk/
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/
Visit: www.carefirst-lifestyle.co.uk to view our articles on health and well-being, or call 0808 168 2143 for in the moment support.