{"id":371,"date":"2022-01-21T08:17:01","date_gmt":"2022-01-21T08:17:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.kent.ac.uk\/student-services\/?p=371"},"modified":"2022-03-15T10:58:27","modified_gmt":"2022-03-15T10:58:27","slug":"how-to-be-a-trauma-informed-partner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.kent.ac.uk\/student-services\/2022\/01\/21\/how-to-be-a-trauma-informed-partner\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Be a Trauma-Informed Partner"},"content":{"rendered":"

Do you know what your partner needs?<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

We all have different experiences with sex, intimacy, and sexual relationships.\u00a0You cannot be certain that all your partner’s\u00a0past experiences were positive,\u00a0so keep this in mind and\u00a0approach\u00a0your relationships in a\u00a0trauma-informed manner.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In this article we offer you some tips on how you can\u00a0do this!<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Communication is key.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/h4>\n

But not everyone is ready to share.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It is important to try to create and cultivate a safe physical and emotional space to share with your partner, so you can both feel comfortable to talk to each other more openly.\u00a0If you can have the courage to be open and communicative about your likes and dislikes and needs, it will help your partner(s) to do the same\u00a0when they are ready.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

How to be a trauma-informed partner:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

Understand trauma:<\/h4>\n

Acknowledge that upsetting events can have a\u00a0long-lasting impact, even if it isn\u2019t apparent in someone\u2019s daily demeanour.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Trauma affects the nervous system, so the kind of responses it might provoke\u00a0in certain situations\u00a0are not always ones that your partner can control.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Knowing this will help you frame their behaviour so that you don\u2019t see\u00a0<\/span>some of these\u00a0responses\u00a0as\u00a0always\u00a0intentional, and\u00a0understand that\u00a0your partner\u00a0doesn’t\u00a0necessarily\u00a0mean to upset you.<\/span><\/b>\u00a0Being mindful of this can\u00a0help you and your partner understand what triggers such reactions and how together you can regulate them.\u00a0\u00a0Check out this video by the NHS on how trauma affects the brain.\u00a0[Link\u00a0<\/span>\u201cTrauma and the Brain\u201d video by NHS<\/span><\/a>]<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Be observant:<\/h4>\n

People don\u2019t always communicate verbally. Paying attention to your partner\u2019s body language will help you\u00a0<\/span>recognise when to slow down, step back and\u00a0take action\u00a0if their feelings escalate<\/span><\/b>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Promote open dialogue\u00a0<\/span><\/h4>\n

If you feel like you can, try to<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/b>discuss with your partner what you\u00a0both\u00a0like, don\u2019t like, and anything you are open to trying sexually. You can also talk to them about what can help when they feel overwhelmed.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Check in with your partner during sex!<\/h4>\n

This can include:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n