Dr Lindsey Cameron and Dr Hannah Zibell from Kent’s School of Psychology give their thoughts on Netflix drama Adolescence:
Gut wrenching, heartbreaking, and frighteningly relatable. Adolescence is a call to us all as parents, friends, educators, community and government, to turn the tide on toxic masculinity, warping young boy’s views about men and women, boys and girls. Because it will take all of us to address this crisis.
While the drama is not based on a true story, it gives a realistic and nuanced account of what is happening in childhood bedrooms, families, and schools across the country. More and more boys and young men are being sucked into the manosphere: a collection of online communities that share a misogynist and male supremacist worldview, where men are believed to be innately superior to women and to possess the right to subjugate women. Feminism is blamed for robbing men of their rightful place in the world, leading to men losing their rights and control of society. Men and women are pitted against each other.
These beliefs are widespread among boys and young men in the UK: 46% of boys and men between the ages of 16 and 29 years believe that feminism has done more harm than good to society.
Psychology has a lot to tell us about how children’s real and online lives merge, and the impact of incels and the manosphere on young people’s ideas about gender, masculinity and healthy relationships. And Adolescence reinforces many of the essential things we need to know about young people and social media.
Young boys are particularly vulnerable
Adolescence is a crucial time for children’s developing understanding of who they are. Messages about what it means to be a man, and masculinity, come from many sources including peers, family, wider community and also social media, and boys face pressure to conform to a narrow idea of masculinity. If all young people hear about masculinity is from the manosphere, then it is little surprise they begin to be influenced by these warped ideas of men and women.
Misogynistic content is increasingly widespread on mainstream social media platforms, and young boys do not need to be actively looking for it. The path down the rabbit hole can start with looking for content on neurodiversity, mental health, fitness or self-improvement. The manosphere exploits the existing vulnerabilities of boys, with increasingly radicalised content being presented in an entertaining and gamified way.
This starts before children use social media
Learning about what makes a man starts way before children start using social media – it starts at home, in the playground, through messages from films and TV and their peers. We need children from an early age to know there is more than one way to be a man.
Role models and different types of masculinity
We need to counter damaging ideas of masculinity, providing alternative perspectives on masculinity, through relatable role models boys can connect with, both in the real world, through family, but also youth groups, charities, communities, but online as well. Ben Hurst (@therealbenhurst) with 11K followers but who works in schools with young boys is just one, Gareth Southgate in his Dimbleby lecture mentions the traits of his England squad.
Modelling friendships
Friendships between boys and girls, men and women are essential to protecting our children from harmful misogynistic rhetoric. Friendships are by their nature based on trust, respect and appreciation for each other. Research with children shows the positive impact friendships between genders can have on attitudes to gender equality.
The psychologist in Adolescence asked Jamie whether his dad and grandad had any female friends. Why is this important? Through childhood and adolescence, young people form scripts and templates for relationships between men and women, girls and boys. Social media is one source of information on this, but parents and peers are influential in the real world too.
Close to home and maybe too close for comfort
The genius of Adolescence and one reason it resonates with so many of us, lies in the relatability of the family at the centre of the story: this could be any of us. They’re a pretty typical family, the parents doing their best, but unaware what their son is being exposed to online. And this is a situation many families find themselves in right now – with no real idea of what their children are doing online, and what they are being exposed to.
Communication and listening is key
In the aftermath, Jamie’s family are left wondering what they could have done differently: could they have restricted his phone use? Asked him what he was doing? treated him differently?
Young people feel like older generations really don’t understand their relationship with their phones. It’s up to us to initiate non-judgemental conversations about their online lives. But how to spark these conversations?
Young people want and need boundaries
Many parents will watch Adolescence and immediately check their children’s social media accounts. It’s too late to ban young people from using their phones, but we can work with our young people to put restrictions and boundaries in place to keep them safe and healthy. Importantly though, children are much more influenced by their real-life relationships, so working on becoming healthy role models and reminding them the difference between right and wrong is key.
Children’s developing brains mean they are more vulnerable to the addictive nature of social media, platforms designed to tap into our reward circuits in our brain. Young people need boundaries and restrictions, that help them to manage their smartphone use.
We need to teach all young people to recognise and critique harmful messages about masculinity and relationships, in their favourite films, in porn, in phrases their parents use, in music lyrics. We need more role models who show boys that there is more than one way of being a man. We need to be having non-judgemental conversation to build critical thinking skills, this is essential. Because it will take all of us to address this crisis.