Dr Lydia Kearney, has provided some tips for managing social anxiety as lockdown eases.
As the Covid-19 lockdown continues to ease, we are finding ourselves with more and more opportunities to socialise face-to-face. For some people, this is a straightforward pleasure, but many other people are reporting a lot of anxiety at the idea of socialising again. Given the length of time we have been limiting our social contact with others, it is no surprise that people are struggling with the transition back to a more normal social life.
Dr Lydia Kearney, a cognitive psychologist at the University’s School of Psychology, has provided some tips for managing social anxiety as lockdown eases.
Her tips are:
- Take little steps
Social anxiety, just like any other type of anxiety, is based on a feeling of danger and because we’ve spent a lot of time hearing about the medical dangers of face-to-face contact, it’s understandable to feel anxious or uncertain about spending time with other people, even if we do this responsibly and according to current guidelines. The best way to beat anxiety is to give ourselves chances to realise the danger isn’t as bad as we might be thinking. This means we have to experience the situation to overcome our anxiety about it. This can sound scary, so perhaps think about first meeting up with just one or two people that you know well. Hopefully, you’ll quickly come to see you don’t need to worry as much as you have been.
- We are our own harshest critics.
Lots of evidence suggests that when we’re feeling socially anxious, we tend to judge ourselves very severely for what we perceive as social mistakes. These are little things like not knowing what to say, feeling like you are talking too much or too little, or losing track of what you’re saying. If we’re feeling anxious these things can seem like a disaster, but the truth is we don’t even really notice when other people make these little mistakes. The odds are that no one will notice when you do it either! Try to give yourself a break.
- Acknowledge that life is different now.
Lots of us have spent a long time not doing much, and not seeing many people. Some of us have lost loved ones, some of us have lost jobs or sources of income. Some people have been home-schooling their children, or adjusting to working remotely. Whatever your life has looked like for the last year, it’s probably quite different to how it was before. This might mean you struggle to find things to talk about, even with old friends or close family members. When we feel socially anxious, it can be quite comforting to plan what we’re going to say, but the simple fact is, most of us just don’t have a lot of news to share, and a lot of what we do have isn’t great. Try to remember that we’re all going through a period of readjustment, and don’t worry if conversations don’t flow the way they usually do.
‘We humans are social by nature, and we all need interaction with other people. We’ve gone a long time without it though, so its normal to feel anxious. Ease yourself in, try not to judge yourself so harshly, and don’t worry if it takes a while to feel okay about it all.’