Cooking up a disaster at uni


One realisation you face at uni is having to cook for yourself. Alternatively you could bankrupt yourself with takeaway or starveā€¦ Sometimes in the struggle to stay alive, you cook up a disaster and have to evacuate the kitchen. These are some disaster stories I’ve heard at uni.

Surprisingly my flatmates were really good with cooking, we never really burnt or set anything on fire (apart form one time but I’ll get to that in a bit). Next door on the other hand had one stand out night. Picture this: it’s a cold wintery night in Tyler Court, everyone’s getting all cosy in bed for their 9 am’s when suddenly the fire alarm (a sound we all know too well) goes off! It’s a mess, people evacuating in their towels, others holding their prized possessions and funnily enough the block drunk strolls out holding a JD. Anyway, turns out a girl next door left her sausages in the oven unattended to go and ‘see’ her boyfriend. Moral of the story, don’t leave your sausages unattended!

I don’t know who I felt more sorry for, my neighbour crying over what she’d done, or the flat downstairs having to eat their Dominos in the cold.The next story is a little closer to home (it was me). There were no fire trucks or campus security like the last time but it was equally as traumatising. I’d spent all day in the lab boiling chemicals and thank god, that went on without a hitch. I spent my whole day cooking chemicals excited about the steak I was going to go home and cook (finally something I’d cooked that day other then chemicals). So I was cooking away when suddenly my steak set alight.

In a panic I went to throw it in the sink and put water over it but then my brain kicked in and I removed it from the hob and threw the fire blanket over it. Long story short the olive oil acted as an accelerant as it had dripped down the side of the plan. It had a happy ending as there were no smoke alarms and the steak tasted amazing! Slightly chawed but amazing.

That’s pretty much all the stories I know. There was that stereotypical drunk chip pan fire in Parkwood that destroyed a few houses but other than that it’s all good.

Cook safe.

Thanks for reading,

This post is by Mario Elia