{"id":813,"date":"2025-04-24T16:25:02","date_gmt":"2025-04-24T15:25:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.kent.ac.uk\/chemfs\/?p=813"},"modified":"2025-05-20T10:29:54","modified_gmt":"2025-05-20T09:29:54","slug":"four-ways-to-support-someone-studying-a-phd","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.kent.ac.uk\/chemfs\/2025\/04\/24\/four-ways-to-support-someone-studying-a-phd\/","title":{"rendered":"Four ways to support someone studying for a PhD"},"content":{"rendered":"

Support for a PhD Student<\/strong><\/p>\n

As someone who\u2019s been walking these PhD streets for just over seven months now, I think I\u2019m starting to get used to the varying rhythms this journey throws at you. From the low days\u2014feeling down in the dumps with lab experiments that just refuse to cooperate, no matter how much effort and thought you put in\u2014to the highs of hearing a resounding \u201cwell done\u201d in a data analysis meeting with your supervisor, this road is anything but linear.<\/p>\n

And still, I don\u2019t think we talk enough about the kind of support a person on this long, demanding research trajectory truly needs.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

This post is for you<\/em>\u2014whether you\u2019re a friend, family member, partner, or mentor to someone doing a PhD. (Be on the lookout for a future post where I\u2019ll be writing directly to PhD students, sharing what I\u2019ve learned about self-care and self-support. I\u2019ve got you too!).<\/p>\n

They say patience is one of the highest virtues, and that couldn’t be more true than for someone on the path to a doctorate. Like an ancient, multi-doored chamber, filled with hidden corners and shifting dynamics, this journey is both intriguing and exhausting.<\/p>\n

Understanding that can make all the difference when you\u2019re walking alongside a loved one who\u2019s pursuing an NQF 10 qualification\u2014the highest level of formal education out there.<\/p>\n

So, if you want to be a steady source of support for your \u2018person,\u2019 here\u2019s what I\u2019ve learned can really help:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Consistent Affirmation<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Affirmation goes a long<\/em> way in support currency.<\/p>\n

    I like to think of the PhD as a picture someone\u2019s stuck inside of. When you\u2019re in the frame, it\u2019s hard to see the full picture\u2014what\u2019s behind you, beneath you, or happening all around you. Your focus gets narrowed, and\u00a0sometimes it zooms in on your perceived failures or inadequacies. It\u2019s easy to obsess over what\u2019s going wrong.\"\"<\/p>\n

    That\u2019s where you come in. Affirmation from those who know you and are committed to your well-being is such a big win. So\u2014send the meme. Share a quote about endurance. Offer to grab coffee and ask how it\u2019s really going. Whatever your person responds to best, lean into that.<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Listen<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      \"\"<\/p>\n

      Let\u2019s be real: understanding the technical depths of someone\u2019s PhD research isn\u2019t always feasible.<\/p>\n

      Take mine\u2014Supramolecular Chemistry<\/strong>. Not exactly coffee table conversation, right? But I cannot tell you how encouraging it is when my loved ones listen anyway. Whether I\u2019m venting<\/p>\n

      or talking through a challenge, just having someone be present<\/em> helps.<\/p>\n

      Even when they can\u2019t respond meaningfully to the chemistry, their listening helps me hear my own thoughts more clearly\u2014sometimes even leading me to breakthrough (or at least a sense of calm).<\/p>\n

      So, listen. Ask the follow-up question. Be curious. It matters more than you know.<\/p>\n

       <\/p>\n

        \n
      1. Respect Boundaries<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Sometimes, a PhD student\u2019s boundaries don\u2019t make sense from the outside looking in.<\/p>\n

        I had a colleague who used to stay on campus past 7:30 pm every day and come in late the next morning\u2014especially during deadline crunches. We all tried to convince him to \u201cflip back\u201d to a normal schedule. Eventually, we peer-pressured him into doing so… and it backfired. He missed his deadline and got into trouble with our supervisor.<\/p>\n

        Sometimes, what doesn\u2019t make sense to us<\/em> might be exactly what works for them<\/em>. So unless it\u2019s dangerous or unhealthy, let people be. Respect the rhythms they\u2019ve figured out for themselves.<\/p>\n

          \n
        1. Be a Team Player<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          \"\"\u00a0Postgrad life\u2014especially in the sciences\u2014can be lonely<\/em>.<\/p>\n

          Having a supportive, co-creative community makes such a difference. I know this post might sound like knowing a PhD student means doing all the giving, but this point is about mutuality<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

          Set clear expectations on both sides. If you\u2019re a close friend or partner, talk about what you each need during this season. Misunderstandings over unspoken expectations can easily lead to resentment\u2014something I learned the hard way during the second quarter of my studies when I had a fallout with an old friend.<\/p>\n

          So: communicate your needs. Ask for clarity. Use your words. Be in it together<\/em>.<\/p>\n

          Were These Helpful?<\/strong><\/p>\n

          I hope so.<\/p>\n

          This journey is absolutely a team effo rt. And our whole selves\u2014emotional, intellectual, and relational\u2014can benefit when we offer each other the kind of support that helps us not just survive, but grow.<\/p>\n

          To echo Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages<\/em>: communicate love\u2014and support\u2014in a language your person can best understand and receive.<\/p>\n

          Until next time.<\/p>\n

          \u2014\u270d\ufe0f<\/p>\n

           <\/p>\n

           <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

          Support for a PhD Student As someone who\u2019s been walking these PhD streets for just over seven months now, I think I\u2019m starting to get … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37654,"featured_media":814,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[307755,28766],"tags":[307759,307757,5349,307756,307758,307761,397],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.kent.ac.uk\/chemfs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/813"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.kent.ac.uk\/chemfs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.kent.ac.uk\/chemfs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.kent.ac.uk\/chemfs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/37654"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.kent.ac.uk\/chemfs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=813"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.kent.ac.uk\/chemfs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/813\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":834,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.kent.ac.uk\/chemfs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/813\/revisions\/834"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.kent.ac.uk\/chemfs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/814"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.kent.ac.uk\/chemfs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=813"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.kent.ac.uk\/chemfs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=813"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.kent.ac.uk\/chemfs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=813"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}