When I first started this blog series, I made an outline of themes I wanted to explore over the term—just to capture my experiences as a PhD student in the most honest and relevant way possible. Little did I know, everything would line up so perfectly with how my weeks were actually going. And honestly, I’m pretty happy about that.
This week, I planned to write about the ebbs and flows of academic life as a postgrad student, and wow, I couldn’t have picked a more fitting topic for the last couple of weeks I just had.
You know those mornings when you wake up, feeling all pumped to dive back into the lab after a restful weekend and a productive season, only to be hit with some serious
roadblocks? Well, I thought I was ready for those “low motivation” weeks. I thought I’d be one of those people who could handle them like a pro.
But nope. As Terrence once said, “I am human, therefore nothing human is alien to me.”.
I was cruising along pretty well, feeling good about the work I was doing. In my first three months at Kent, I managed to chemically synthesize 3 new compounds in the supramolecular self-associating amphiphile category, and I’d fully characterized them (with just a few bumps along the way). By the second term, I’d started working on four more new compounds—and I was on track to smash those goals too.
Then came this one week. My health took a little dip, and my motivation hit rock bottom. The idea of stepping into the chemistry lab felt exhausting. But I showed up anyway because, well, motivation comes from showing up and doing the hard things even when you don’t want to.
But this week, it didn’t matter. No matter what I tried, nothing worked.
In the lab, the molecules I was trying to synthesize wouldn’t cooperate for purification, and those that did finally purify had such low yields that I ended up stuck in this endless loop: synthesis, purification, lost yields, synthesis, purification… you get the idea.
It was a nightmare.
I tried mixing up my priorities—reading, writing, lab work—but nothing 
seemed to help. My brain was fried and just refused to process any new information. YouTube felt repetitive, and every conversation with my research group was the same (we were all in the same slump, so no one had the energy to lift the others out of it). It was the whole package.
The thing about low days, weeks, or even months, is that when you’re in them, you’re really in them. It’s hard to imagine coming out of them anytime soon. The tough days can cloud your perspective and make you feel like you’ll never catch a break.
The “PhD blues” are real, my friend. I’ve been there too many times, and honestly, there’s something comforting about knowing I’m not the only one.
“I am human, therefore nothing human is alien to me.” Terrence really hit the nail on the head with that one.
Now, I don’t want to rush through this and jump straight to the resolution. I’m not here to preach toxic positivity.
We all go through tough seasons in life. We know what it’s like to struggle, to try everything to get out of a dark place but still feel stuck. Sometimes, we feel uncomfortable and trapped in our own skin. And to make it worse, we often go through all of this alone, which can make everything feel even harder.
So today, I just want to say to anyone out there who’s struggling: you’re not alone. You’re not strange or weird or odd for feeling this way. Our shared humanity and our constant drive to grow and become better means that growing pains are just part of the process.
This is especially true in academia. It can feel isolating because, sometimes, our friends and families just don’t (and can’t) fully get it. But it’s not their fault, and it’s not yours either. It’s just part of the journey.
And now, the good news:
It passes. Yes, I know!!! The cliché “this too shall pass” actually turns out to be true. 
It really does pass. And when it does, we usually come out of it better than before.
Like waves or atoms in space, our journeys are constantly shifting. And that’s a good thing. Just like the seasons, each phase brings its own set of gifts.
I’ve just come through my first wave of the ebbs of being a PhD student, and here are a few things that helped me get through it:
- Showing up, no matter what – Letting discipline guide me when motivation was nowhere to be found.
- Talking about my struggles – With family, friends, colleagues, and even final-year PhD students. It’s amazing how much wisdom these folks have gained from their own journeys.
- Taking care of myself – Sticking to healthy routines, getting enough rest, and doing things that recharge me.
So, what are your lifelines when you’re in one of life’s ebbs?
Feel free to share them with me on Instagram @jedidiah_pink