Bound hand + wire cube own therapy 31 March 2010
Bound hand therapy self inflicted 31 March 2010
The medical team was calm, thorough and efficient. Repeated queries about my identity, a large arrow on my left arm pointing toward my hand and the two ‘x’ marks on the fingernails of my middle and ring finger helped to ensure the correct person, arm and digits went under the knife. The anaesthesiologist and the surgeon identified themselves and explained what they were planning. All concerns and doubts about the surgery and outcome were clearly outlined. Did I still wish to proceed? I did.
The surgery went well. In the general anaesthetic post-op fog I was wheeled back to the day ward. The surgeon loomed into view, gave me a serious and determined look, raised his hand into a fist and vigorously motioned the necessity for me to work very hard at exercising the fingers. I think I nodded.
A short two days later the plaster and bandages were removed exposing the neat twin cut lines of stitches zigzagging their way from palm along stiff and swollen fingers to ‘x’ marked fingertips. The work was beautiful. The therapist said 100% range of motion had been achieved under anaesthetic. She repeated the surgeon’s hand signal, took me through the exercises and said; now the work was to begin. There was no time to reflect. There was only time to work. Let pain be your guide, she said.
That was just over six weeks ago. Today is Good Friday. It has always been one of my favourite days. The relationship between what’s good and the sacrifice and suffering that accompany it remains of interest. But it was the seriousness of the occasion that impressed us children. Between the hours of noon and three the house was quiet. We were required to spend those three hours in silence, reading, reflecting or generally maintaining a serious countenance away from one another. One lucky child was allowed to ‘read’ the family bible, an impossibly large tome with leather cover, gold gilded pages and the sacramental details of relations past and present written in with spaces left for future inscriptions. An especially fidgety child might be given chores to complete or help hang laundry, but ultra smugness was reserved for those of us who managed to stay the course without flinching.
When we were old enough we were allowed to troop to church to learn the official, ritualised ‘by the book’ sadness. The heady combination of hours of fasting, solemn statues covered in purple cloth, Stations of the Cross, Gregorian chant and the ever thickening fog of incense had us hooked. By partaking in the ritual, we became part of an older tradition bigger than anything we could understand. Although the tradition spoke of sacrifice and sorrow, we simply aimed to kneel in stillness and silence for the entire time and in the end to offer our own superior suffering up to God. Boasting about the success of our suffering was not part of the official church ritual, but that did not stop us from scoring sacrifice points amongst ourselves.
In the drawings from last year, a hand is bound, wrapped in a bandage designed to force fingers to bend. There is no pain in the drawing. The simplicity and looseness of the drawing belies the tightness of the binding and the pain inflicted underneath. The caption describes the therapy as self inflicted yet the face does not reveal pain.
Post op the exercises for my hand are repeated like breath. My aim is to improve the range of motion by five degrees each week. The final few degrees are proving the most difficult. At this stage, the pain of improvement is greater than before with less reward. Yet, the improvements are there. It is indeed a very Good Friday.
11 March 2010 Last Therapy 5 degrees Passive 0 degrees Active + Wire Cube
At last, 4 ½ months after the accident I saw the hand consultant. read more…
18 February 2010 No Progress Hand + Wire Cube + New Plaster Therapy HR + Boss Last Chance
Don't give up Try to break the new plaster Waiting for Consultant 22 February 2010
They were emergencies. Events moved swiftly. Sudden illness or accident was followed by medical care and surgeries I didn’t really have time to think about. read more…
4 February 2010 My dad died on Saturday tomorrow we go to America to bury him no progress...no...progresshand + wire cube
It was a year ago today the accident happened. As in other areas of life, it is a time for review. A time to look over the past year and evaluate what has changed what needs keeping and what needs challenging. read more…
18 January 2010 Post therapy New device to Bend fingers not cooperating crushed hand + wire cube
Stuck hand New splint + wire cube No progress 28/01/10
There was good news and bad news. The good news was that after weeks of inactivity the fingers were beginning to respond under pressure to the inventive therapist’s torture devices. The bad news? The mess created by the accident would take years to clear up. read more…
Silicone wrap + wire cube 12 January 2010
Little-no progress Post therapy New Bondage + wire cube 12 January 2010
The therapist had an arsenal of weapons of rehabilitation at her disposal and she deployed them to good effect on my hand. read more…
- Boxing therapy + wire + flu self inflicted pain 31 December 2009
Normally bandages support muscles, compress swellings, protect joints and generally help to aide healing and relieve pain. The hand therapist’s ingenious treatments didn’t quite work that way, although healing was in, pain relief was out. read more…
Post therapy w/H.R. hand plus wire cube + flu 29 December 2009 Pen nearly out
"Make a fist" ..."I am"... 29 December 2009 + flu, pen out
Timing in so many things can make the difference between fortune and failure, opportunities grasped or missed, being ill or well, life and death. The hand therapist did not hesitate. read more…
Recovering hand silicone dressing wire cube + flu 22 December 09
The dentist said his dieing mother believed “illness is weakness”. In medical terms, he said, she had waited far too long for any treatment to be effective. My mother and the dentist’s mother might agree about illness, that there’s no time for it, that one gets on with things and does not complain. read more…
No progress post therapy, crushed hand, no progress + wire cube 15.12.09
There is an expectation that vision, practice and concentrated effort will yield results. No one at hospital had said, “We’re aiming to get your fingers as fully functioning as possible”. The medics did say the road to recovery would be long and painful, two years and a lot of work. But even at this early stage, with full concentration and effort, there was no change. The fingers remained motionless. The therapist’s gage registered no change in degrees of movement passive or active.
Bad news no good news Drawing no movement Don't panic or despair 15.12.09